I Love You, It's As Simple As A, B, C
by FallenOutTheWindow
Summary: When Rick is away on a book tour and with no other way to talk to his, dare he say it, girlfriend Kate Beckett, he decides to write to her. Little notes based on a different letter of the alphabet everyday... Now with an epilogue, bonus chapter. Thanks for sticking with it!
1. Always

**A/N: So this is basically going to be a series of drabbles based on a different letter of the alphabet everyday. I'm hoping this will motivate me to not only write more but also to update regularly. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to let me know what you think or any suggestions for a certain letter... Well, here you go! Any and all aired episodes are fair game.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned _Castle _we would have gotten a whole load more than just one door slamming and a lot earlier =P **

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To the most wonderful woman in the whole world, to my dearest Kate,

I am so sorry. Please forgive me? In my defense it's hard to tell when Paula is actually threatening me, I didn't honestly think she'd take my phone away. I never even got to read your text...

Anyway, with 27 days to go and no other way to talk to you I figure that sending you a letter a day would be a good idea, I suppose I could go and buy another phone or sneak away to a computer but this seems more romantic, doesn't it? I don't know, call me old fashioned but I miss you and writing this makes me feel like I'm closer to you. God, I miss you, have I mentioned that yet? Seriously, what made me possibly think that a full month away from you would be a good idea? At least the new book is getting some good publicity and I know you're not alone. I'm glad you didn't give up on the precinct completely, you're a cop by nature and it's on of the many things I love about you.

I can hardly believe it's only been three days, if I make it to the end of the month I deserve some kind of medal! I didn't think I'd feel this way but, Kate, I've never loved anyone like this before. I mean it. Everything before this, compared to you it meant nothing. I love you, more than anything and this is the first major separation for us since we got together and I'm not even joking when I tell you I'm counting down the days until I can hold you in my arms again, when I can kiss you and... Well, I guess you'll find out. In the meantime there are 26 days that separate us and I know what I'm going to say with them.

You can keep your phonetic police alphabets because for me, 'A' will never stand for 'alpha'. No, 'A' means 'always'. That's our beginning, our secret codes and that's how long I'm going to keep loving you.

Yours, Always

Rick.


	2. Boys

**A/N: Sorry it's so short, I promise that there will be a longer one for tomorrow. Thank you for all the encouragement so far! Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

Okay, I've been thinking it over I realize that the alphabet theme maybe a little corny and definitely overused but I'm willing to lower my literary talents to this for you. Only you.

So, 'B'... That's an easy one, 'B' is for your boys, for Ryan and Esposito. I know how much you care for them and I've seen just how much they love you right back. I have to admit, when I first met you and started working with you I was a little intimidated by this ease between the three of you, the bond you all shared. The camaraderie came easily and I felt a little intimidated to be infringing on it. But then I got to know you and the boys let me in and I began to understand you all that little bit better. It's more than just looking out for a coworker and respect for colleague. It's more than just being willing to throw it all away, to risk death for each other.

Do you remember the first time you kissed me? When Ryan and Esposito were kidnapped? The drive to save them that I saw in you and the relief when we found them was mirrored in the looks they gave you after dragging us out of that damned freezer. That passion, that determination, it's not just an urge to save a friend. It's a need to save family.

'B' is for your boys, for the brothers than you never had.

Rick.


	3. Cookie

**A/N: Not going to lie, Drunk!Rick is fun to write. I hope I did him justice!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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"'C' is for 'Cookie', that's good enough for me..."

Hey there Katie, my little cuddle-monster!

Have you ever noticed that Sesame Street makes so much more sense at 4AM? Seriously, Kate, there's a whole other subtext that we're not seeing!

Okay, so tonight was the first big party and while Chicago sure knows how to throw one hell of a party I still think that sitting around the loft with you would have been a better. Have the deep fried twinkies always been quite so crazy, for lack of a better way of phrasing it? Don't worry, I didn't indulge any of them. I think I shocked a fair few people tonight, dear. You don't realize how much you've changed me, how much I've grown up and while I may still be that little kid, I'd give up laser tag for you if that's what it takes to keep you by my side. I love you and you love me and I still think I'm imagining that last part.

You know, you're much prettier than the people in this show - duh! Half of them are puppets and that would be weird on about four different levels.

Anyway, my point is that you are my cookie. The blue one like those biscuits so much and why not! Cookies are practically perfect, they're soft, sweet, come in so many different varieties and Cookie Monster would do anything for them. Just like me and you if you think about it. Now wait, I would do absolutely _anything_ for you and I hope that I've proved that over the years and you are _perfect_ to me, you're sweet and don't let many people see the softer side of you and there are so many different sides to you! You, my dearest of dears, are an onion. Do you remember that? You were so hot, teasing me. You still are hot. You're always hot. I'm getting off topic.

'C' is for cookie and you Kate Beckett are most definitely good enough for me.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and a little bit more love from me,

Big Rick

P.S. I am not drunk. Promise.

P.P.S I love you.

P.P.P.S What are you wearing?


	4. Dead

**A/N: Thank you for all adding this to your follow list, it shows that you guys are actually reading this. **

**I don't want to turn into one of those needy writer who constantly ask for reviews but, seriously, some feedback would be appreciated. Please, tell me what you like, don't like, what you'd like to see...**

**Regardless, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

When I first started working with you people couldn't understand why was so happy to be called at all times of the night just to go to a murder scene and if I'm being honest, for a while I couldn't understand it either. I don't know when it happened but one day I realized that it was it was you that I was happy to see. The passion for your work, the unrelenting search for the truth... Seeing you work is like seeing the real you, underneath the badge and the gun, the layers of hurt and the wit, seeing the kick-ass woman you are, who feels to deeply and doesn't believe in the goodness of people too easily.

You know just what to say to help the families, you know what to look for, you piece together all those little pieces that others don't see. You're amazing, the fact that your job revolves around the dead doesn't bother you. It doesn't matter who died or did what, you're always trying to finish the story. You remind me of a certain ruggedly handsome guy we both know. You should have been a writer.

It sucks that the only reason I met you was through some bizarre twist of fate and some unfortunate girl had to die but, and I am aware of how this sounds, I'm glad it did. The cases we've solved together, the things we've been though, everything we've seen... I wouldn't change one minute of it. I love you and I'm thankful for everyday I still have you in my life.

D is for the dead, the unfortunate souls that have brought us together and gave me the chance to see your side of the story everyday: to see the way you give them a voice, the way you keep them alive, even after they're gone.

Rick.


	5. Extraordinary

**Disclaimer in chapter one guys!**

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KB,

You know, everything that I say to you, or in my current case write to you, can be summed up in one word. It's a word that describes you very well.

Extraordinary.

Kate Beckett. You are extraordinary. Truly.

Your way of looking at things, your way of doing things. Everything you've overcome and still go through amazes me. The way you can look trained killers in the eye and yet you hide yourself in my arms when we watch a scary movie. Your ability to burn popcorn, every single time without fail. The way you have your own little band of fans down at the precinct. The way you bite your lip when I do something stupid and right before you kiss me. Your eyes. Your smile. Your warmth. Your heart.  
Everything.

Absolutely everything about you is perfect and it makes me love you just that little bit more everyday. I looks at you and my stomach starts twirling and my head fills with you. The best part is that I don't even mind.

I love you.

'E' is for 'extraordinary' because, from day one to me, that is exactly what you are.

RC


	6. Friends

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

These past four years have been crazy. You've gone from hating me to tolerating me to liking me to loving me. Don't deny it, you love me. I know it, you know it and I love you that you love me.

If someone told Playboy-Billionaire, Rick Castle that in just four years he would be hopelessly devoted to some hardworking, by the book (usually) cop then I honestly think he would have laughed.

Do you remember the book party that we met at? Before I saw you I remember telling Alexis that I wanted something new, I wanted change and I got you. You were everything I wasn't and half the things I wanted and the more I saw you the more I began to change.

I brought you coffee and you would smile at me. I got rid of the permanent 5'o'clock shadow to look more presentable, to fit in with you and the other guys at the precinct. I gave you wild theories and you slowly but surely let me in that little bit more. One day I wasn't just your 'plucky sidekick'. I was your partner, we were friends.

Late nights at Remy's, little jokes between the two of us that let me know I wasn't just some random co-worker. I am forever glad for the chance you gave me to get to know you as more than just a cop. My biggest fear about taking this step with you was that I would lose the best friend I have ever had and I hope and pray everyday that nothing ever comes between us but if one day you do come to your senses and realize that you're too good for me and leave, I hope you'll at least consider still being friends with me. I don't think I could ever lose you completely, you much too big a part of my to let you go.

'F' is for the future that is never certain and the best friend I found in you.


	7. Games

**A/N: Soory this is so short and late. Real life has been a bitch but I'm gonna make it up to you all by posting two chapters today... **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

You're smart, funny, mature, beautiful and so many other things that I'm not and don't think I ever will be. What on Earth possessed you to go for a guy like me?

I guess our relationship shouldn't be such a surprise to me after all this time, we've been dancing this fine line for years. I still wake up next to you and wonder what I did right though, you still surprise me with your love for me.

It's like some strange game of 'Chicken' we've been playing, always trying to one-up each other, for every two steps we take forward we take three back. I may not have always understood the rules to this little game of ours or the prize I've been fighting for but when I see you, when you kiss me or let me hold you I feel like I won.

You gave me your love.

Somedays I still feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, for this to be the next level and for some new twist to appear. I'm terrified you're going to leave me.

'G' is for the games we play, I hope one day we can leave the games behind.


	8. Hair

**A/N: This is another one of those Drunk!Rick chapters, bear with me... **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

There are many things about that I love starting with 'H', your hands, your heart, your hero-complex. Yes, even though it drives me crazy and I'm terrified of leaving you alone I've come to terms with the fact that your hero-complex is part of you and you just can't stop yourself from doing potentially fatal acts to save others.

No, 'H' has got to be for you hair. I know it's somewhat shallow but, my God woman, how anyone can be deemed hot from their hair alone is beyond me!

I don't know why you dyed it red when I started following you full time, don't get me wrong, I thought it was nice but I much prefer the natural brunette look on you, especially after seeing those photos of you as a blonde. I won't lie to you, I also prefer it longer, seeing those stray curls fall across your bare shoulders when we're together or sticking to your skin when you first get out of the shower... I'm getting distracted again. Crap, I just spilt whiskey on this. It's ruined!

Am I really writing about your hair?! I probably won't send this, I'll try and find something slightly more normal to send you but even if I don't send it I'm still going to finish this.

You are beautiful, inside and out and I wouldn't care if you were bald and only had one eye, I would still love you.

'H' is for your hair, your mane and I hope to God I don't send this.


	9. IceCream

**A/N: Okay, so this is slightly longer than the last couple of chapters and I hope you like it. Please review, I'm not too sure about the last few chapters and would really like some feedback... **

**Oh, this whole thing is set a couple of moths after 'Always' so I'm saying that Kate is pretty much a permanent fixture in the loft. Hey, it's FanFiction, I can do that if I want...**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

What is it about women and this constant need to diet? You'd think I understand it, I do live with three of them but it's one of those great mysteries of life. Kind of like Big Foot or fairies. I mean, even those who don't need to diet do!

Some days it amuses me, seeing you walking into Remy's, head held high and looking shy when you order a diet soda. Every time. You walked into China Town wearing just a cardigan and heels without the slightest hint of embarressment but this made you blush? It's cute, you have this little blush that defies all logic; it starts at your ears and I know this because I've seen it. It's like you have a sixth sense for it as well because no sooner than it appears you untuck your hair from behind your ear, trying to hide it.

Every time we order dessert you skip or just get (another!) coffee and somehow you always end up eating half of mine. It's sort of romantic in a 'Lady And The Tramp' kind of way and equally amusing, especially that time when that old lady thought we were dating. You ran so fast after that comment, ran back to Josh I assumed.

I remember this one dessert, it was a strange sundae of sorts, nine flavors of ice-cream and you tried to steal the cream from the top, complaining the whole time that the ice-cream would hurt your sensitive teeth. You got some on your cheek and as I wiped it off and I couldn't help but think you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, even with half my pudding on your face. I wanted to kiss you so bad right then, I probably would have if the waitress hadn't arrived.

I never told you this but you know that lemon ice-cream that you loved so much? I hate it. I can't understand why you like it so much but seeing you enjoy it made me order that same sundae every time with two spoons. Even if that lemon stuff ruined most of it I would do it every time just to see you smile.

'I' is for the ice-cream you like; I'll keep on ordering it even if I hate it, just to see you smile.

I love you.

Rick.


	10. Johanna And Jim

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate.

I know that it still hurts you to talk about her but 'J' could only ever be for one person. Well, two people really. Your parents; Johanna and Jim.

Your mother was taken from you far too soon but, in a way, you were lucky. You got to spend that time with her, to see the kind of person she was and if she was anything like you, she was amazing. She'd have to be to raise you this well is such a short time. You look like her. From the photographs you've shown me I can see you in her. You have the same smile, tilting up at the side and you definitely share that sparkle I see in your eye when you're amused with me.

You know that your dad came to see me. Just before Montgomery died...

I was terrified of him. It was like meeting the dad of your date to the Prom for the first time, we weren't even dating back then! I could barely even work out how I was feeling about you and he was telling me what I would do if I really cared about. I think he knew more than we did.

I can't imagine asking another man to look after Alexis like he asked me to care for you; he cares about you a lot. I know you're still working on your relationship but I could see how hard he was trying. When you were in the hospital you should have seen how scared he was, he loves you Kate. He seemed pretty pissed at Josh too for starting a fight while you were fighting for your life. I probably would have found that amusing if I wasn't so scared for you.

You have the most amazing parents, one was a real-life superhero, searching for the truth, and the other would do absolutely anything for you. I know that your father is and if your mother was I know she'd be so very proud of you too. They loved you.

They love you.

'J' is for you parents, for Johanna and for Jim for raising the most extraordinary woman to be the one I love.

Always,

Rick.


	11. Kids

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

Do you have any idea how good you are with kids?

Probably not, you have this nasty little tenancy to put yourself down. I guess it keeps you modest, you are pretty much perfect in every other way. Sort of like Mary Poppins.

I first saw it during that case with the little missing girl, surprisingly it wasn't the way you treated her but the way you talked about the mother on the way back. You genuinely cared for her.

I know you're supposed to 'maintain a professional distance' and all that other noble crap but you couldn't help yourself. When there's a kid involved you turn into Extra-Super-Cop because, you know, you're always Super-Cop.

It's not just these random kids either that you're great with, you have no idea how much you've helped me with Alexis these past few years; She's growing into this beautiful young woman and you are in no small part to thank for that with all your advice on how to handle a teenage girl. Let's face it, my mother did all she could but she hasn't exactly been the best for advice, you saw her one-woman play.

If it wasn't for you I'd probably be locking her up in some hidden tower and shielding her from the world. You encouraged me to let her spread her wings, to test her feet and now my little baby is all grown up and going to college and I know that I have done everything I can to help her.

I'm not pressuring you but someday, if you wanted, you would be an amazing mother.

I love you.

'K' is for 'Kids' because, Kate, you're amazing with them.

Always,

Rick

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**Okay guys, I hope you're all enjoying this so far, we're nearly halfway through. **

**Just wondering what you guys are liking, send me a review and let me know what your favourite chapters are so I know what I'm doing right. Shoutouts for those who review!**


	12. Love

**Okay, thank you to theputz913 for reviewing and to everyone before that. A couple of you have asked about Kate's responses and so I thought I'd tell you that I am hoping to write them after I've finished this A-Z. I hope you like this one!**

**Again, reviews equal shoutouts and if anyone has an idea for the letters 'Q' and 'U' that are better than mine it would be greatly appreciated! **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate.

_"L is for the way you look at me_  
_O is for the only one I see_  
_V is very, very extraordinary_  
_E is even more than anyone that you adore and..."_

I love you, Kate. In our little alphabet I am going to solely dedicated a full letter to my love for you, I could write for pages on end but I'll try to keep it short. I don't need to write to you to prove my love - though you have to admit it's a nice idea - because I show my love for you in everything I do. I'm not as good as hiding my emotions like some and do you know I don't care.

I want everyone to know how much I love you and for them to see us and just know how I feel. I want to shout it out and write songs and stand at your window with a boombox in the rain to be perfectly clichéd.

I know that you want to keep this quiet until we get our footing and you're worried what everyone will say, even though we both know that they've been rooting for us to get together since day one. One day I'm going to tell them about us. I just can't hide it, Kate, I've tried but, dammit, I love you and why shouldn't everyone know?

I love you.

And just because I can I'm going to say it again. I love you.

I'm going to keep saying it, everyday, showing you in everything I do just how much I do and one day everyone will know it. It'll be one of those indisputable facts.

The sky is blue.

The grass is green.

Richard Castle loves Kate Beckett.

'L' is for 'Love' because I do. Until the end of time. I love you. Always.


	13. Marry Me

**Okay, this one is another fluffy one, I hope you enjoy it. Thank go out to **whisperofsomethinggreat**,** gromildeindor** and special thanks to **theputz913** and **_Guest_ **for their great ideas. Same deal, reviews = shout outs! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

You're still here.

That amazes me. Everyday. You're still here. You haven't left me and I can't understand why. I'm the reason you shot your mothers killer, I've nearly gotten us both killed with my smart ideas and I was a bit of an ass with you after the case with the bombings.

I guess I should tell you why.

I came in to tell you I love you. Again. When I heard you tell that suspect that you remembered everything I panicked. I thought you lied because you didn't feel the same way, in that moment everything changed. I couldn't tell up from down, right from wrong; I just ran, ran away from the precinct trying to figure out my next move. You broke my heart Kate, I couldn't stop loving you, I didn't want to love you but at the same time I didn't want to stop loving you. I was a mess. That's what you do to me.

I can't imagine ever loving anyone else, you're it for me. I wont say that you're my world because firstly that's really cliché and secondly my family is a big part of my life. I'm not saying you mean nothing, you're part of my world. You're like my America, Alexis is my Europe, my mother can be Australia; Do you understand? or am I just rambling and not even making a little sense?

I've been married before and, honestly, they didn't even mean half as much to me as you did. One day, if you let me, I hope I could maybe make an honest woman out of you. I saw those wistful looks at Ryan and Jenny's wedding, I've seen you looking in the windows of jewellery shops as we walk past. You can play it off as nothing but this is something I want to do.

But, hypothetically, if I were to propose to you I would be doing it in person, not in a letter.

Don't worry, I'm not going to come back and throw myself to my knees but this is your warning, one day Kate.

I love you.

'M' is for the question I'm going to ask you one day. I hope to God you say yes.

Rick.


	14. Nikki Heat

**Guys, for those of you still reading this, if you don't want to review would you mind telling others about this story? Pass the message on. Twitter, tumblr, hell, you can even fax someone for all I care! Over half way through now, I hope you're all still enjoy it! Special thanks to **theNCISlovinggingerguineapig **, **theputz913 ** and **JBSconie**.** **Keep those reviews coming!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

I'm sure it comes at no surprise to you that 'N' stand for 'Nikki'.

She's the reason I started following you and the excuse I used to continue shadowing you. Through her I got to see all the amazing sides of you. I saw the fire in your eyes, the warmth in your heart, your strength, courage, fear, there is so much more to you than what meets the eye. Even now, after four years I'm still learning new things about you everyday.

You don't like to open up much to anyone, I guess that's why you found it so hard for me to write about you, I was letting everyone know what you had been trying so hard to hide. I made boundaries without realizing it, there were some things I learnt about you that I didn't add to the character; Things I wanted to keep to myself. Like the way you play with your hair when you think no one's looking while you're thinking. Like the way you bite your lip and hide it. Like the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. These are the little moments I wanted to keep to myself.

I filed them away in my mind under 'KB' and thought of something new for Nikki.

Nikki Heat may have started out as Kate Beckett on the page but as time passed and I got to know you more, as you let me in and I started to fall in love with you, bit by bit, she changed. Somewhere along the lines she became her own person. Partly because that's what the publishing company asked for but mainly because I was falling for you and as hard as I tried to I couldn't ignore it.

I went to work with you and when I came home I wanted to hide from you. Or rather from my feelings, to at least try and pretend I hadn't fallen for you so hard. So gradually Nikki began to change. She had to. I was in love with you, not some literary creation of mine.

Nikki Heat isn't some fantasy I created, she's the you that everyone else sees. The Kate Beckett that I see, that's something I'd like to keep to myself for a little while longer.

'N' is for 'Nikki Heat', Kate Beckett's alter-ego and not even half as good as the real thing.

I love you.

Rick.


	15. October

**A/N: Okay, this is my longest chapter so far. Let me know if you like them longer or if you want me to go back to the shorter chapters. Thanks go to** whisperofsomthinggreat **and** shazam12**. I hope you all enjoy this. Also, I was listening to 'Take Care' by Beach House when writing this so go give that a listen. It's a great song! **

**Diclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

I don't think I could ever quite forget the anticipation from that first Halloween party of mine that you attended, when you started to undo that coat. My heart was racing, my pulse quickened. I screamed.

You tease.

I love you regardless.

It was around the time that the leaves were falling, when Autumn was leaving an "Winter is coming." Sorry, that one couldn't be avoided. But honestly, going to a crime scene and seeing you, your cheeks flushed and nose turning pink. You were adorable.

There was this one evening that I remember, it was getting late. The sky had turned from blue, or more accurately grey, to black; the moon was hidden behind the clouds and the air had a bitter chill to it. You wanted to check out a lead, it would take five minutes you said. You didn't even take you coat, all you had was that small little jacket and scarf.

After chasing the suspect halfway across the graveyard and getting lost I bet you regretted that decision. You'd gone past the cute stage with pink cheeks, your lips were turning blue and you were shaking. God, I was worried about you. I grabbed you without really thinking it through, pulled you back to me and wrapped my arms around you, trying to get some warmth back into you. I didn't want to let you go, you felt so small, so fragile in my arms. Nothing like the hard assed Detective Beckett, I wanted to keep you in my arms and protect you from everything. Eventually I let you go. Maybe it was just me but I swear something passed between us, as I looked in to your eyes I couldn't look away. I didn't want to.

Without taking my eyes off of you I pulled my long coat off my shoulders, down my arms and placed it over your slight frame. You didn't say anything, just made this cute little fish impression. Opening and closing your mouth. You were the first one to look away, smiling at the ground you thanked me. I put my arm around you, you let me keep it there, as we finally found our way out of there. You drove me straight home and the next day my coat was folded neatly over the back of your chair.

I'm not sure why this memory makes me so happy, maybe it was getting to hold you or getting to take care of you for once, all I know is that I haven't forgot it. I kept a spare jacket in my car boot after that, I brought you extra coffee and warm food from the diner across the street instead of those cold sandwiches you usually got. It was nice.

'O' is for 'October', the start of Winter for us and the first time you let me look after you.

I love you.

I'll take care of you.

Always.

Rick.


	16. Perfume

**A/N: I'm really sorry that this is late, my family is going on holiday tomorrow and so I've been helping them pack and spending time with my little brother. Anyway, I hope you guys are still enjoying this and please keep reviewing, it lets me know what I'm doing right if you tell me what you like. Thanks go out to **LiseCate**, **fire90** and big thanks to **theNCISlovinggingerguineapig ** for multiple reviews. **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate**,**

God I miss you. It feels like year since I last saw you, held you, kissed you. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to be apart from you. I think about you, almost all the time. The littlest things set me off.

I see a cup with lipstick stains on the rim and think you're going to walk through the door any minute now.  
I see a mass of brown curls in the crown and for a moment I think it's you and have to stop myself from calling out your name.

Or there's this morning. Right there in the middle of the table at this book launch meeting there's a large bowl of fruit, so many different sizes, colours, textures I almost missed them. Small and dark, hidden away. Cherries.

You smell like cherries.

All the time, even when you stay at mine, after showering somehow you still smell like that damned fruit! Not that I'm complaining, I've grown to love it. I remember sitting in that freezer with you in my lap thinking I was going to die, holding you after you had passed out I could still smell it and it comforted me, made me feel that little bit less alone.

It has caused its fair share of problems though, the first time I noticed it? The looks on Ryan and Esposito's faces, actually the look on your face was better when I said yes.

I remember when you first went back to the precinct to ask (beg) for you badge back. You were talking and Gates was glaring and I was trying not to think of the fastest way back to the loft so I could... Well, you know what happened next. Anyway, I sat there watching you fight for it and then Gates looked at me, I don't even remember what she said. I do remember that I stood up, right behind you and as I took a deep breath that intoxicating scent blew it all to hell. I was sniffing you, your hair to be exact but even for me that's a little bit strange, don't you think?

Well, I was so distracted by you and those damned cherries that I completely missed what the captain said, whatever it was I'm sure that, "Sure, you betcha," wasn't the right thing.

Paula is in another foul mood with me. I blame you.

Why else would a completely rational man jump across a table for no apparent reason to save a bunch of cherries from being eaten?

I blame you.

I love you.

'P' is for the perfume you wear. I'm sure it's a perfume. Wait, my god woman, is that your natural scent?


	17. Queen

**A/N: Really sorry I didn't get chance to update yesterday, things have been hectic in real life and will for the rest of the week. My family went on holiday yesterday without me, I'm going to a party tonight and Friday, I'm travelling on Saturday and tomorrow is the dreaded results day. Good luck to anyone who's going for results. Let me know how you do!**

**Anyway. As an apology I'm uploading two chapters now! This one is dedicated to** theNCISlovinggingerguineapig **for giving** **me the idea for the letter 'Q', thank you to everyone else who made suggestions though. Also, thanks to** Katie-Kakes97 **for the kind review. The letter 'U' is still open for debate... **

**Please keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one. **

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Kate,

Another letter another day closer to you. Only a few days left to go, just under two weeks and I can't wait to wrap my arms around you, to kiss you and forget this terrible month. You are never talking me into thinking that a full month apart is a good idea again. I need you Kate. I'm not even ashamed to admit it.

I don't want to turn into that arrogant playboy again, as much as I don't want to admit being wrong, you made me a better person, a better man without realizing it. I can't thank you enough for that.

When I was younger and back in my days of boarding schools a much younger, and not quite as dashing, Richard Rodgers would terrorize the students and teachers alike; getting kicked out of school after school, moved all over the place by his trying, in both senses of the word, mother. I was unsure what I was doing with my life until one boy told me I had a gift. It was that day that Richard Rodgers became Richard Castle.

After many failed attempts I finally made it, my first book. At long last I had something that was mine, an achievement all of my own. An achievement that I know sits as a signed copy on your bookshelf. After that first book, that first taste of success I knew I would be hooked. Again and again I tried, to recreate that sense of accomplishment and I did. I had a gift and one book turned into six and I'd changed, gone was the young man trying to please his mentor I was becoming addicted to the life, after struggling as a child I had the money, the freedom to do as I wished. And I did. Alcohol, parties, women. Richard Castle turned into 'Ricky Castle'.

And then I met you. All brass and brazen and shiny and new and different! God, you were the breath of fresh air that I needed. You took the party boy and threw him into the real world at the deep end. Because of you I started to shave off that stupid constant stubble, stopped waking up hung over everyday. I got a real job, sort of. Because of you I grew up and stopped trying to to be that young twenty-something year old writer. I was your plucky sidekick. Your partner. I became Castle.

But recently I became something more. You let me in and now I'm Rick.

I'm the 'King Of The Castle' to use a bad and slightly overused pun.

'Q' is for you, my dear, for if I'm the King then you are most definitely my Queen.

I love you.

Rick.


	18. Rain

**A/N: As promised two chapters. I hope you enjoy. Reviews equal shout outs! **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate

I remember the day of Alexis' graduation, the day you came to me and told me how you felt. At first the rain felt fitting, a pathetic fallacy. After everything that had happened between us and the way we had left things I didn't expect to ever see you again. I was angry, I was upset and I was scared. Scared that this time I had lost you for good.

I couldn't stay, the temptation of having you so close and not being able to see you, to love you was too much. You don't know this and I never told Mother or Alexis but that night I was planing on leaving New York. I'd just finished packing my office when you called, I was sure I was going to do it. But then you came.

Soaked from the rain and so real, you were kissing me and apologizing and everything and nothing mattered anymore. The rain from your clothes started to soak through my shirt and I didn't care.

You have no idea how long I have imagined you like that, in front of me with love in your eyes; It was like a dream come true for me. Every touch and whisper, the feel of you pressed against me, your taste, it's burned into my memory Kate, I can't ever forget and wouldn't want to. That kiss was all passion and anger and desperation, to prove that this wasn't just some spur of the moment thing and that you really were here. I tried to tell you everything with that kiss, and the next majority of the ones that followed.

We didn't jump into anything together and I'm glad, I'm not sure I could have handled everything at once, not after pining after you for so long. I'm not even ashamed to admit that part either, I love you Kate. We just lay there on top of the bed, holding each other whispering everything, fears apologies and all that comes in between and all the while the rain is beating down making it all seem mystical, like our secret moment, hidden by darkness and a curtain of rain.

Just being with you, able to kiss you when I want - well, within reason, you still don't let e at the precinct - it's like I never really knew what was missing. Now that I've found you Kate, now that you've let me in I don't think I could ever leave you.

I love you. I have for sometime now. I just thought you should know.

'R' is for the rain, the keeper of our secret. Every time I feel it on my skin I feel you kiss on my lips.

Hopefully I'll soon be able to have the real thing again.

Rick.


	19. Stretch

**A/N: Okay so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update tomorrow as I'm pretty busy. Thank you for all the reviews so far, keep them coming and thanks for all the suggestions so far. Special thanks and shout outs go to **theNCISlovinggingerguineapig **, **fire90** and **mafePOP**.**

**For anyone who is interested I went to get my A Level results today and I did really well! Way better than expected and will be going to my first choice for University so I'm riding a bit of a high at the moment. Any mistakes you see are mine and I blame them on being too nervous when I started and too giddy toward the end. **

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

So here I am, sitting at a perfectly good sofa, almost exactly like the one back at the loft and I can't help thinking that it would be even better if you were here with me. I miss our evenings back at the loft, just snuggling up together on the sofa watching TV without actually seeing the images before us. I would lay there, holding you as close as possible, your back pressed against my chest vibrating as you spoke and feeling your heart beat every so often. It felt perfect to me.

That night before I left, you made me finish packing and brought me through to the lounge. You had set up the TV with one of my old boxset DVDs a old old blanket thrown over the back of the sofa. I was running my fingers over your ribs, feeling each breath and you were seriously trying to work out the logic behind space cowboys. Right there, right then I thought my life was pretty much perfect. I would give anything to be able to hold you right now.

Thank God there are only a few days of this damned tour left. Next time you come with me. If you want that is.

You fell asleep halfway through he fourth episode or so and I stayed here, holding you, pulling the blanket over us and just watching you. I won't say you look peaceful and childlike when you sleep because that would be a lie and you don't. You still have that adorable little frown line, it's like a permanent feature for you, but you don't seem angry or haunted as usual, it's like you let some of that weight off. I want to make you feel like that all the time, if you'd let me.

You remind me a little of a cat. In a good way, of course. You're strong and independent, graceful and when you're sleepy, not quite dreaming but only just awake, when your in that hypnagogic state you stretch out like a cat. Unfortunately when I hold you like that you seem to press again everything in just the right way and I have a half a mind to wake you up.

You arch your back and thrown your arms up and your shirt rides up showing me half your stomach and then you scrunch up your nose and close your eyes and... You have no idea how adorable you look when you do that, do you?

It doesn't matter, I do.

I love you.

'S' is for the way you stretch, just because I think it's cute.

Rick.


	20. Takeaway

**A/N: I am so very sorry, I did warn you all that this week would be hectic; hopefully it'll calm down a bit now. I'm uploading two chapters today as penance. I hope you're still enjoying these little things, they're almost over. It'll be a while before I start the responses but I will be getting around to it eventually so if you want to add me to Author Alert you'll see it as soon as they're up. **

**Thanks to everyone who still reads this and special thanks to **theNCISlovinggingerguineapig **, **whisperofsomethinggreat** and **CasTLEsandraMatthews**. Keep on reviewing please to give me a reason to keep writing, ways to improve my writing or for nothing else than to remind me to update!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

Wow, I'm exhausted, we've traveled so far these past couple of days, made many, many stops and even managed to get a few interviews done. The best thing by far though is the fact that this damned tour is nearly over. I can't believe that next Saturday I'll finally be able to see you again. I'm going to hug you and squeeze you and never ever let you go again. This has been pure Hell, there's no two ways around it.

This pizza isn't that great, it's too late to go and buy real food and you've gotten by all these years worshiping that Styrofoam temple and look great, there has to be some logic to it.

Quick question, next time we get pizza will you just let me order it? You always ask for the special and end up picking it to pieces. You take off the peppers, always throwing them on my plate may I add, and eat the olives first. You always do something like that, we order Chinese and you wont eat the duck and orange together, you have to eat them separately. It's a cute little quirk of yours that I noticed; no one else seems to notice that you're kind of a fussy eater. It's like one of those special little secrets that only I know.

I remember a couple of weeks after we go together, after an exhausting case featuring a serial killer and a couple of phone calls to Alexis and my mother and you to your dad we fell on the bed, cuddled up together, holding on to each other. It was so quiet and I brushed your hair back and, dear lord, for a small stomach it can't half make a noise. You were so embarrassed and did that little gravity defying blush, apologizing profusely.

Just sitting with you, in our barely lit bedroom and feeding each other lukewarm and slightly too greasy pizza I realized three things. One, I want to do silly little things like this with you everyday. Two, even with cheese one your chin you look beautiful and three I love you more than anything.

'T' is for 'Take Away' and the tales that go along with it.

I love you.

Rick.


	21. Undercover

**A/N: Okay, I had to re-upload this chapter after someone pointed out I had made a few spelling mistakes in my last chapter. I apologize immensely for this but I was rushing to try and get something out for you guys. Enjoy and please keep reviewing. I'll be uploading my next chapter later tonight, I'm just editing and checking it through right now. Sorry.**

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Kate,

I should have been an actor. I missed my calling Kate, that's what I was meant to do.

For eight hours I have been entertaining the dullest guests known to man. They compared shades of beige Kate! All the time I sat there and smiled and made conversation and planned nearly seven different ways to kill each of them just so someone would call the cops and put an end to my misery. Maybe you could come here and take the law into your owns hands again, like we did back in L.A.

I've always loved acting, you probably didn't know that. When I was a kid I was in all the little amature dramatics shows, I was almost cast in 'Days Of Our Lives', in the end they went with someone else; it didn't matter to me, my writing career was taking off. I've noticed that you're also quite the little actress, the temptress seeking information in the bar, the demanding girl friend or my personal favorite, the time when you came into that poker game in the middle of China Town as my personal Russian good luck charm.

I remember this one case, some doctors at a family planning clinic were turning up dead and you walk up to the front desk, me trailing along behind you, and you tell the receptionist you're pregnant. Well I couldn't quite breathe, I had no idea that it was all a ruse, I was half hurt and and the other half of me was just plain refusing to process the information.

I stood there, staring at you as if you had grown a second head but you weren't backing down. When the receptionist asked about the father I wasn't sure if you wanted me to speak up or not but you smiled at me and I couldn't tell if you were embarrassed at what I said or relieved that I came forward to help.

If I'm going to be completely honest with you Kate I didn't want that case to end, it was worth the jokes at my expense and the awkward moments between us for the following days to be that close to you, even if it was only pretending.

Or the time when you came to my rescue at the third Nikki Heat launch party. Even when not on duty you're my hero. Some girl, I can't even remember her name, was clinging to me like a life preserver and you came over in that short dress and looking like hell in high heels and 'kindly' asked her to remove her hands. I don't know if you realized I could still hear you but you threatened to 'do something drastic' if she touched your date again. I was on cloud nine, not only had you just called me your date but I had a reason to stay close to you for the rest of the evening.

For the first time I had a good time at one of my own book parties because instead of trying to fight off and simultaneously interest deep fried twinkies and I got to spend the night with my best friend. I don't know if you remember me taking you back home that night, you had drunk a lot at the free bar, but you hugged me at the door to your apartment, you stood on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around my neck. You're so much shorter when you're not wearing those skyscraper heels, I like it, it's like we fit together like perfect puzzle pieces.

You held me close and thanked me for being there. I was confused by that because you're the one who is always there for me but I was so happy to be able to have you so close I didn't question it. Just when I didn't think it could get any better you pulled away and kissed me on the cheek, closer to my mouth than you would have done if sober I bet and lingered there for longer than I dared hope. I didn't breathe until you shut the door.

God, I love you so much.

'U' is for 'Undercover' because for me it was never pretending, we were just practicing or the real thing.

Rick.


	22. Vincit Omnia Veritas

**A/N: Well, here you go. Only four more chapters to go after this. I'm kind of sad to see the end in sight but fear not, there's always the sequel... Thank you for everyone who is still reviewing, this story has had almost 17000 views and there are 68 of you following this so I'm kind of upset that I've only got 38 reviews so far. I'd really like to make it to fifty reviews before this is over. Please?**

**Big thanks go out to** _Guest_**, **theputz913**, **MelanieAtkins**, **Katie-Kakes97 **and **NinaK.05**. I've also just found out that one of my friends from Twitter is reading this, I hope you're enjoying it _ NotEnoughLime_. That reminds me, if anyone wants to add me on Twitter I'm _Gemma30185_, I'm pretty friendly, just send me a message. Thank you for everything so far and I hope you enjoy this one!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate,

I know it hurts you to remember but have I mentioned how amazing you are, just like your mother? I never got the chance to meet her and I wish I did but I have the next best thing. I have you, this amazing woman following in her mothers footsteps, saving the world, bringing justice to those who deserve it and help to those who need it. I am in love with this miracle that walks on Earth who goes by the name of Kate Beckett and I thank God, my lucky stars, hell, I even thank the workers at the coffee shop that I got to find you and that you love me.

I know that you visit her, go to the cemetery after a really hard case, the anniversary of her death and every Christmas Eve. I asked you once why you don't go on the actual day and you told my that lovely story of staying up until midnight as a kid with your mother waiting to open gifts. I couldn't help but think what a beautiful, amazing memory that must have been for you to still smile and remember it after all these years. I guess that's why you never believed in Santa Claus, you're mother was magic enough for you.

I know that you always visit her on birthdays, hers, yours, your fathers; you all go and just sit there. You don't usually talk to her, at least that's what you told me. You just sit there and wait for the tears to come, another year passing by without her. I can't imagine what that must be like but every years the tears become less and less and over the past few years, after making so much headway in your mothers case you can finally let go of some of that hurt.

At least I never knew my father, I can't mourn what I never had.

I also know that every Sunday that you have free you go to visit your mothers grave, tracing the inscription. You told me stories of these extravagant dinners that your mother would make every Sunday and tales of standing on your fathers shoes as he danced around the kitchen, twirling and spinning while your mother laughed. You said that she had a beautiful laugh but I can't imagine a more glorious sound than the one you make when you're happy; honestly and truly happy.

You took me with you one day, a couple of weeks after we finally got together, I didn't know why now or what reason you had but I didn't question it, I knew that this was important to you. It feels strange to admit this but I was kind of nervous. You had built up the image of this amazing woman and after all I have learnt about her from working her case over the years I feel like I almost know her, like she's here and real and I was nervous, I was scared she wouldn't think I was good enough for you.

Well, we got there and you lead me to the right place and it was beautiful, there seems to always be fresh flowers by her tombstone and there was this beautiful willow tree covering the plot. The sunlight came through in patches giving the place a sort of magical feel. I was quite sure what you wanted me to do, I stood there just off to the side as you touched the head stone, fingers tracing the well worn inscription.

You introduced me to your mother. I stood there and watched as you talked to the air, little dandelion puffs flying past you and you told them all about me as if they held the spirit of your mother. You told them I made you happy, that you thought she would approve of me. You told her about my 'strange' sense of humor and that you felt safe for the first time. You told her you thought you loved me.

I felt like I was intruding, listening to a private conversation between mother and daughter. You didn't look at me for the entire time. When you were done you held out your hand to me, I took it and we sat down of the grass beside your mother's resting place, side by side, not saying a word. You kissed your fingertips and trailed them over the inscription one last time and we walked out of the cemetery, hand in hand in an easy silence.

Three days later you told me you loved me for the first time.

You may have taken a different path to your mother but you are so alike, you're both crusaders, always looking for answers, putting everyone else before your own needs.

You are amazing.

'V' is for the words you know so well, the words on your mothers grave. **_'VINCIT OMNIA VERITAS'_**.

_Truth conquers all._

I love you.

Always.

Rick.


	23. Walls

**A/N: Wow, can I just say that the response I got for the last chapter has blown me away? Thank you, that was actually my favourite chapter so far. Anyway, I hope you all really like this one and please keep reviewing. Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback from last time, please keep it up! Special thanks go out to** theputz913**, **castle1701**, **fire90**, **Yanni23**, **_Guest_**, **LiseCate** and **NinaK.05**. Thank you all so much!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one. **

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Kate,

I hate waiting.

Seriously, if I thought waiting or you to notice me or to feel the same way was hard waiting to get back to you now that I know you love me is just so much harder.

As a young boy I could never wait patiently, I had to be doing something all the time, always moving. I wouldn't wait for food to cool down, wait for my mother before I crossed the road, wait to have my picture taken. Waiting for this damned tour to be over so I can kiss you senseless again.

Waiting for you has been the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. I had to watch you pass me by, never seeing the way I would look at you. The way that I was the one there, bringing you coffee at some ungodly hour in a park just so you would have some company and not Dr Motorcycle Boy, not that I'm bitter about him still.

I remember after you were shot, sitting in that awful chair, head in my hands trying not to cry, not too break down in front of your dad or my daughter. I sat there waiting for something, anything. Nurses passed and I saw families crying and laughing and mourning and, God, Kate I honestly don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you. That wait felt longer than the three months that you left me for because at least I knew you were alive when you asked me to leave. I may not have been able to protect you but at least I knew that somewhere out there you were okay.

I sat there waiting patiently for four years, watching you change and grown and laugh and cry and smile. I watched as you fell in love and broke up, I saw you in your darkest hours and waited for the right time, to find the right words to help. I have never stopped waiting. Sure, sometimes you couldn't see me, the times I left you but, Kate, you have to know that I never really left you, I never stopped waiting. I almost did, I threw in the towel and thought that was it and then one dark and stormy night my wait was was over.

And do you want to know something, Kate Beckett, NYPDs finest and love of my life?

It was worth it.

Every second that I have spent waiting for you has been worth it. I've gotten to know you and more than just some girlfriend but as a _best_ friend. I know that you like to watch those silly medical dramas, I know that you don't like running, I know that you like to take your shoes off underneath your desk when it's late and you think that no one is looking. I know the things you like and don't like, I know what makes you laugh and when you're just pretending. I know that when you stretch you roll your ankles and they click and I flinch every time and you think I'm a wimp because of it.

I know that you need people a lot more than you let on. I know that you don't like to let people in, not because you can't love but because you love too damn much. Like everything else in your life you're either all in or not at all and that's just another one of those things that I find amazing about you. When you love, you love a person with all your heart and there's no room for doubt. That's why you're so scared to give it to anyone, it's been broken before, men have walked in and hurt you and left so you built these walls around it, to protect yourself. To keep the world out.

Well, I got in Kate.

I'm not leaving you.

I can't leave.

You're always talking about these walls that you have built but what you don't know is, that without realizing, you broke down my walls. You wormed your way into my heart and I never want to let you go. I love you too much. This thing between us is everything I could have wanted and more, you're my best friend and partner and, if I'm going to be really bold and say it, you're my soul mate. you're that missing piece. You're the Yin to my Yang.

I love you.

'W' is for 'Walls', we've been building them and breaking them down without ever realizing. I'm glad you let me in because it was completely worth it.

Always.

Rick.


	24. XFiles

**A/N: Firstly, sorry for taking so long to upload. I can say that this will be over by tomorrow and I, for one, am kinda sad that it's over. Why can't there be more letters in the alphabet? Never mind. I shold have 'Y' up later but for now there's this. Thanks for sticking with me so far guys! Thanks go out to** theputz913**, **AALiz**, **Christy811** and **LiseCate **this time. Keep reviewing, please help me get to over 50?**

**Okay, I am a huge X Files fan and so I thought I might as well put that in here, save me doing something stupid and boring for X. I used to watch it with my dad when I was younger and one day I came home with his entire VHS collection of XFiles on my bed, it reminds me of him so I thought it would be nice for KB to have a nice memory like that with her dad. **

**Sorry, reuploaded this chapter after a wonderful review from **_Kathinka_ **who actually knew Kate Beckett's real age, thank you!**

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Kate,

Your laugh is more musical than a xylophone.

I'm more scared of your rejection than a xenophobe is of strangers.

Wow, finding a letter for 'X' is proving hard. I'm going to cheat on this one.

You told me you used to watch those daytime soap operas with your mother, I know that that's kind of embarrassing but why didn't you tell me that you used to watch X-Files? I can just see it, little 13 year old Katie Beckett watching the TV, swooning over David Duchovny and admiring Agent Scully's heels while your dad was telling you not to sit too close to the T.V. Your dad told me you recorded episodes on old video tapes and replay them, over and over, instead of waiting to buy them at the store. Apparently they were in one of the first boxes you packed ready for college, I think it's cute. It makes you seem more human, having these little secrets and obsessions, rather than your usual goddess like self.

So, I've almost finished packing up this room. One last stop for a couple of days and I'm done, I can be back with you yelling at me for doing stupid things and holding you when you sleep. Paula is already trying to set me up for my next tour but I've refused.

I don't know if you thought I was serious last time but I really would like it if you would come with me next time. We could make a holiday out of it, use up some of those vacation days you have stocked up. To quote something you once told me, "I have a hard job and having you around makes it a little more fun."

Aha! I knew it would be on one of those 24 hours channels, X-Files. Maybe this'll give me an insight into you head. What a wonderful place it must be to not believe in magic but to religiously watch a TV show centering around aliens.

That's it, you're Mulder _and_ Scully. I thought that I was Mulder, the joker and believer and that you were Scully, the brains of the operation and keeping me grounded with all my CIA theories but I had it wrong.

You might not believe in magic like I do or in the things that I think you should but you do believe in something. You believe in yourself, your friends and family. You believe in your fight for the truth; in this seemingly never ending search for answers about your mother, the man who shot you, the dragon. Everything.

You're driven by your loss, for you it's your mother and for Mulder it was his sister.

You are fiercely loyal, almost to a fault just like Scully.

Some days it feels like you're bigger than this, this life you lead, that we're building together. It's like you're part of something greater that we aren't seeing right now. It's like we're some television show and the audience is laughing at us for not seeing the obvious.

I don't care. It's always been about the journey. About the road we take and not our final destination. Walking this path with you is worth not know a couple of the answers.

'X' is for 'The X-Files' because as silly as it may seem, the truth is out there.

And we'll find it.

Together.

Always.

Rick.


	25. You

**A/N: Wow, penultimate chapter here. I'll be posting 'Z' tomorrow so there it is. I hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it! Please review, let me know what has been your favourite chapter, what you liked what you didn't like and what you'd like to see in the sequel. **

**I don't want to do this but I won't put up the next chapter unless I get at least 10 reviews, with over 70 of you following this story I don't think it's that unreasonable a request.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

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Kate.

You are extraordinary, KB, you know that right?

And I love you.

You have never tried to change, to e something that someone else wants you to be. Even when the tabloids started writing those things when they first found out about us working together you just turned the other way, head held high. You're stronger than I am. When the papers first started writing about me I locked myself in my room for weeks and my mother had to literally drag me out. Don't let her size fool you, she's got a ridiculous amount of muscle behind her. Needed it for all her years on Broadway.

Anyway, back to my point - I swear I had one this time - I have never met anyone quite like you. Someone so smart and independent and strong. Someone so beautiful in the morning, with smudged make up and messy hair and oversized T-shirts on.

Someone whose wit was faster than mine and had an opinion on everything and smart enough to know when to speak it and when to hold it. Someone who had the power to break me with a single blow and the ability to heal everything with the simplest of smiles.

Someone who I could see myself spending the rest of my life with.

There was a suspect once, a real piece of work. We all tried to stop you from going in the interrogation room, a beautiful woman like you going to see a Jack the Ripper wannabe, you can imagine how I felt about that. You told me that if I didn't like it I could watch from the observation room and off you went, into the lions den, so to speak, alone. I watched as he tore you apart, so fast, so skilled, like he knew exactly what buttons to press. You didn't bat an eyelid. Kept it all wrapped up inside.

I on the other hand was half way in the door and knocked the guy to the floor before Esposito had time to follow me and stop me from doing anything else that I'm pretty sure I would regret. I was banned from the precinct for a week and the only reason you didn't have to let him go was on a technicality that I wasn't an actual cop.

I saw you in the break room, making coffee and mad as hell at me. You yelled and poked and I was sporting some pretty nasty bruises but you didn't seem angry at all about what he had said, just mad at me for trying to protect you. I thought you were either invincible or just bottling it up. So I left, if you weren't going to talk to me then what was the point.

Apparently the point was for you to turn up at my place at 4AM when everyone should be asleep aside from writers and psychopaths. You were half drunk and puffy eyed and I knew that you weren't as strong as you were pretending. You came in and we sat on the sofa, I put my arms around you and you hid your face in my shoulder. You didn't make a sound, you just let tears fall and I didn't say a word, just sat there, pressing my lips to your hair, kissing you without thinking it through and rubbing my hands up and down your back. Hours passed and at 7AM you stood up and walked to the door and I, like the loyal idiot I am, followed you. You opened the door and stopper there, not turning around, just standing there with me so close behind you, watching as your hair moved with every exhale. In the morning light and the sleep deprived haze you turned around, put your hand to my cheek, cocking your head to the side while I was fighting off the impulse to lean into it. Without a word you left.

I actually thought the whole thing was a dream, if it wasn't for the almost empty bottle on my coffee table I would have completely dismissed it. We've never spoken about it and I'm not sure we ever will.

You don't trust too easily.

You have this small scar on the inside of your lip from biting it.

You like to pant your toenails bright pink when you get days off.

You don't like to cry alone but you hate people seeing it.

You have a wonderful singing voice but hide it from everyone.

You are so much smarter than you let anyone think.

You have the biggest, most amazing heart I have ever known.

You seem to know just what to say, when to say it and what to do.

There are so many things I could mention about you, about what makes you so strong or so amazing but what's the point? I have the rest of my life to show you how much I love you and everything you do. Isn't that going to be fun?

'Y' is for 'You' because you are extraordinary. You are you, you don't take crap from anyone and change for no one but yourself. You are amazing.

You are the woman that I fell in love with.

I love you Kate, don't ever forget that.

Always.

Rick.


	26. Z

**A/N: Well. This is it. The end.**

**I'm still kind of upset that I couldn't get 10 reviews for one chapter but I decided not to hold out on this. This is for** Kathinka**,** LiseCate**, **Christy811**,** newyorker1994**,** theNCISlovinggingerguineapig **,** theputz913**,** _Guest_**,** Twyger**,** Scoutieout **and everyone else who has review this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this, whether that's from the start or halfway through. Thank you all.**

**For those of you who can't read an authors note and keep asking, I have said it time and time again, there will be a sequel, just not right now. **

**On with the story now, for the final chapter. Here's to you. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer in chapter one.**

* * *

Kate,

Well, this thing is almost over. Finally. I don't know about you but I have been counting down the days; I should be catching the plane tomorrow night and getting back to New York, and more importantly you, the day after.

I've loved writing these letters, getting to relive all those little moments that have lead us up to this point, that make up the foundations of _us_. Everything we are, that we do, we want, believe, dream, know, everything between us is new and exciting and I want to capture it all. To write it down and take a photograph and keep these memories forever.

I love you.

I'm fairly sure I've made that clear by now, there's not a day that goes by where I don't at least tell you once. I try and show it you in everything we do. Kate, all the songs make sense. I know that I have to let you do things yourself, to come to your own conclusions, I can't rush you into anything. I've waited for four years, by your side, watching and waiting for this. If I can wait that long for you to notice me then I think I can keep on waiting for you, for the rest of my days, I'll do anything for you. We'll fight that fight, paint that fence, move that rubber tree plant, all of it for you. Whatever it takes to keep you feeling as happy as I am, knowing that you love me.

I would conquer the world just to see you smile.

'Z' is a hard one, I won't lie. One of the three most uncommon letters in the English alphabet. I'm not going to cheat with this like I did with 'X', instead I'm going to do something different.

I'm going to say goodbye.

I'm going to say hello.

I'm going to make a fresh start and I want it with you. We will always have our history, it's what shapes and defines us. Molds us into a childish writer and a scarred cop. We can't change that, no one can. But we can move forward.

I'm not quite sure what tense to use in this sort of situation Kate, so you'll have to forgive me. I sent this letter to the precinct because this is where we grew, we met, laughed, fought. It's the place where I got to spend time with you, learning your secrets, finding your weaknesses and watching you turn them into strengths. If there hasn't been some gruesome murder you'll be sat at you desk, reading this while pretending to do paperwork while Ryan and Esposito laugh in the background as you fail to be as inconspicuous as you think you're being. There'll be a Starbucks coffee cup on your desk because I'm not there to make you one using the coffee machine in the break room, the same machine that I've taught you how to use a thousand times now. I know you know how to use it, I just think you like it when I bring you coffee, makes it that little bit more special and you reward me with that small smile that you try and hide behind your cup.

You'll be sat there, twirling your chair ever so slightly and pulling the heel of your foot out of your shoes and putting it back in repeatedly. You'll be biting your lip and fiddling with a pen and as adorable as you look I'm going to have to ask you to stop it. If everything I've said is true - and I know it will be because I know you so well - then you'll be pulling that cute little half angry, half confused face, the one where you scrunch your eyebrows together and your bottom lip juts out every so slightly.

I have a much better idea than writing a letter about the letter 'Z', instead of using words as I'm so used to I'm going to use action. Something that's thrilling me and terrifying me at the same time here.

I know that you wanted to keep us a secret but, Kate, I can't. I love you and I've missed you and, honestly, I think everyone knows already.

Now I know how insanely stubborn you are because I'm the same but I'm going to have to ask you turn to turn around. I know you wont until you've finished reading this letter and maybe that is for the best because I might ave a little surprise for you.

Kate, I know that you're in the middle of the precinct but I can't wait any longer. I'm going to kiss you, I'm going to make you understand how much I want and need you in my life. Dammit, Kate, I love you. And I can see those wheels in your head turning. I managed to get out of my tour early.

I'm standing right behind you.

And you probably wont read this until later because knowing you, you'll have thrown yourself at me and blushed as we made our exit while everyone around us cheered and yelled about it taking us long enough but I just thought I should let you know this one last thing.

You look really hot today.

Always.

Richard Castle.


	27. Epilogue: 1 2 3

**A/N: Well... It's been a while. I know I said I'd do a sequel but honestly I'm not too sure right now. I did, however, write an epilogue of sorts. Sorry it took so long but real life's a bitch..****. **

* * *

1... 2... 3...

I'm counting the ceiling tiles. There really isn't all that much else to do. No one else is here right now. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned how uncomfortable hospital chairs are. Honestly, if I never see another one for as long as I live I'll be happy.

This is strange. It doesn't seem like all that long ago when I would sit here, writing for hours. Just letting the thoughts in my head assemble themselves on a page, no reason or rhyme other than to let you know I'm here. I'm a master of words but somehow, when I'm face-to-face with someone I panic, all these ideas and things I want to say with no way to articulate myself. I remember how long it took me to tell Kate how I felt and even then I had to do it twice. She is stubborn like that.

I wouldn't change her for the world though. She's as tough as nails, doesn't take crap from anyone. She's stronger than most and doesn't even realize. She's the smartest person I know and I've never, in all my years on this Earth, met anyone with a bigger heart. She's the first person to stand up for what's right, and the last one to back down.

I'm also in love with her so that helps.

I think you'll like her.

I used to send her letters, much like this, when I went away on tours and such. She would laugh at me, called me a hopeless romantic and other names, smiling all the time; The corners of her eyes creasing just a little, one side rising higher than the other. All that time she would mock me for this but she kept them, every single letter I sent. Even the little post-it notes I often left her.

All of them, kept in a shoe box at the back of her wardrobe, ordered by date along with other little trinkets, ticket stubs from a fundraiser we went to years before we were even dating. An old coffee sleeve with some stupid poem I'd written on it before running off on some pointless errand that she'd laugh at later. A small stuffed kitten I bought her one year for Valentines that she hid in her desk, blushing every time I walked past. Silly things, sentimental things. And she says I'm the romantic!

I wasn't even supposed to find it, it was when she was moving into the apartment. She kicked up such as fuss, chased me around the sitting room to grab the box away from me, of course that just made me all the more determined to see what was inside. I don't think I said anything, I just starred. At the box. At her, sat cross-legged on the floor, cheeks blazing red and playing with a strand of hair.

These past few months haven't been easy on any of us, especially Kate.

You might not know it but she used to be one of the finest detectives in New York, probably still would be if she wasn't stuck behind a desk all day. She's the captain of the 12th precinct now, youngest female to make it. She just can't help breaking all these records.

Gate's, that's the captain before Kate, decided to leave. Said that the cops up here were too soft, personally I think she just wanted a change of pace. Everyone here was busy starting up families or settling down and I think she missed that. She finally adopted that nephew of hers, got him out of the system and I believe they're living out in the suburbs together.

Alexis is out travelling the world, took a year out of college for it. I'm so proud of her, my little girl isn't so little anymore. I get the ocassional phone call and every so often a postcard arrives; she's taking about coming back next year to study psychology. Can you imagine? All these years living with me and my mother, she'll have an anecdote ready for any situation! She seems to be enjoying herself though so I'm happy. That's all any father really wants for his child, for them to be loved and safe and happy.

Jenny's pregnant with twins, I'm not sure how Ryan's handling that though. One minute he's bouncing off the walls, telling everyone about the latest sonogram and the next he's panicking. I dread to see what will happen if he has two girls, God knows he two steps from the edge. I shouldn't joke. He's going to be a great father, he's already got a framed picture on his desk and they aren't even born yet!

Javi and Lanie got back together, you probably don't know but there was a time where I honestly thought they wouldn't work it all out... They're happy now, they just work well together, probably talk of a wedding in the future.

Speaking of weddings, I was thinking about asking Kate. I know it's only been a year that we've actually dated for but when you think about it, I've known her for five years. That's longer than both my previous marriages. I just think it'd be nice, that last little piece of the puzzle falling into place, you know?

* * *

God, I've been sitting here for hours. I know I shouldn't complain, I have it pretty easy compared to some. Kate just fell asleep, bless her. She's exhausted and even if she wont admit it she fell pretty hard. We're both a little worried, she doesn't bounce back as fast as she'd like to anymore.

I hate hospitals. Always have and probably always will. The 'gang' should be arriving soon, waiting for this show to get on the road...

Kate's waking up, I should probably go.

* * *

Well hello! Everything's pretty quiet now; Kate's fallen asleep and everyone else has gone home. She did so well, eighteen hours but you're here now. It's a rainy Tuesday here in the wonderful city of New York and your just like your mother, already trying to get out of here.

You won't get this letter for many years, maybe I'll write more, maybe I'll save them all for you to read. Who knows?

I never knew my father growing up, never got the chance. I don't want that to happen to you. I guess that's why I'm writing this, noting every little thing about you, writing it all down and keeping it safe so you don't ever forget how much I loved you, how much I still love you and always will and so you don't forget me. So you know I wasn't always the grumpy man scaring away your dates but the man who wants to show you Disney movies until your mom is mad at us. Who wants to take you to the park and teach you about dinosaurs and have tea parties and spoil you. So that you remember me as the man who loved you more with every breath he took. Each and every day.

This is for you, my littlest girl, Johanna Emily Castle. This is to remind you, to remind me, of the moments that lead to this, that lead to you.

You are loved by so many and I just wanted you to know that.

All my love, hugs, kisses and best wishes for the future,

Your daddy.

Always.

* * *

**A/N2: So? Thoughts? Liked it hated it? Wanted to reach through the screen and attack me? **

**I hope you liked it, since finishing ABC I've had this in mind. It didn't turn out quite as planned but, let's be honest, nothing ever does. **

**I'm not sure where the whole Gate's thing caame from, I've always loved PJJ and have been rewatching Star Trek: DS9 so I'll blame it on that. **

**Anyway, hopefully there'll be more writing coming in the next few weeks, not necessarily for Castle though. I've lost my Castle muse. **

**Please review, it helps me grow as a writer and it's always nice to hear what you liked/didn't so I know what to improve/expand on in future work. Thank guys! **

**~FallenOutTheWindow**


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